As far as writing is concerned I am going through some kind of depression – I just can’t get down to writing – I mean writing the rantings of a gagged journalist. I seem to be otherwise normal – spending a fairly active day – writing for money, translating, editing, playing with my children, quarreling with my wife, going to the bazaar, doing some household chores, a bit of cooking once in a while, bird watching – both varieties, even taking my poisons more than just occasionally………. simply because I seem to have a little bit more in my pockets these days – not a pennyless beggar anymore, as it were – but pennyless anyway because, yes, I have finished spending (as if there is no tomorrow) whatever little I had earned over the last three/four months as a freelance writer/translator/editor/researcher – Oh yes, I have a pretty multi-tasking CV to my name – but now I have to write! I have to rant!
There is too much pressure on me – I am supposed to be a Citizen Journalist. On top of that I have the additional pressure that I am really a journalist despite being merely a citizen – not a professionally employed journalist in a media house, but a freelance journalist, just a citizen journalist in every sense of the term and yet a true professional journalist – so that there is additional responsibility – not only a citizen but a real journalist as well – so how can I abstain from my duties as a citizen journalist? Specially, when so much is happening around me – how can I abstain from reacting?
I am trying to react but as I said I am going through some kind of a depression – I react in my mind but have no energy to put those thoughts into action – into writing – into some positive project – I simply feel kind of defeated – what’s the point? Why should I do it? Nothing will happen – I am conscious and aware of the negativity influencing my thinking and I am also very much aware of the Gurus of positive thinking and their advice and yet……………I guess that’s why it’s a mental condition – it beats logic!
But then depression or not, the pressure to write is unbearable – it almost adds to the depression, so here goes:
- How do you react to what’s happening to the Rizwanur case?
- How do you react to what has happened to the Nepal Maoists?
- How do you react to the blatant strong arm tactics of the CPI (M) in the Panchayat polls?
- How do you react to what the “Intellectuals” of Kolkata led by Aparna Sen are doing?
- How do you react to Bush/Other US leaders blaming/talking tough about India & China for food crisis and greenhouse emissions
- How do you react to IPL. ICL, BCCI, ICC, CA, Harbhajan, Sreesanth, Sledging, Cheating and all other issues related to cricket
- How do you react to inflation and slow down in industrial growth?
- How do you react to people smugly talking about polar and Himalyan/Andes/Rockies/Alps melt downs as if they are either myths or even if they do happen won’t be much of a headache?
So that’s the starting list – too many issues – how do you react?
My only reaction is depression because when I see so few people feeling the need to react to what is an obvious and clear pattern of injustice, exploitation, inhumanity, greed, falsification, hypocrisy, abuse of power, denial of human rights, general inhumanity in all its ugly forms and all other possible evil that you can think of, all around you – in every nook and corner – in every space, in every pore – in the horizon, in the clean blue sea or sky, in every dark or lighted hole – everywhere, as it were – then how do you react? Depression!
But I know as a Citizen Journalist I still have to write. Stir the conscience – big jobs we have to do – we journalists – we are told!
I am trying. I have just tried. Join me in my efforts if you can!
1 Comment
May 15, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Welcome Arjunda…back in form! And depression…ha! I have stopped writing for a few days…write more, then we will try to follow…